I'm just gonna leave this here

I hate vehicle missions.

Crying, breaking Halo, and a literary canon

I made a comment the other day in regard to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.  To summarize, I wept like the little girl I was at the time upon first beating it.  Remembering this set me off on a series of reflections upon the video games that have brought me to tears, or at least close to them (the list of which will probably be another post in the future).

Hi there, just being really, really emotionally intense...

Then I realized something. I’ve cried more often for video games than for any other form of entertainment.  The reason for this is obvious, and is actually the same reason I use every time I defend gaming from shallow naysayers who would claim it is merely brainless distraction: stories in video games are significantly more engaging than the stories in books, movies, etc. because of the player’s direct control and involvement in the unfolding of events.

Reading back, that sounded like a thesis statement for an academic paper, my bad. In short, it’s a lot easier to care about a story when you feel personally involved. As the main character, you’re the centrifuge that holds the entire game in place. So when your girlfriend/sister/best friend dies horribly, and you’ve been putting yourself into this guy’s shoes for 10 hours, it hits a little closer to home.

You knew this was going to get mentioned, it's the quintessential example.
Fun fact though, I didn't cry, or even really care...

Some would argue that this is only applicable to RPG’s. Not at all. I would argue up and down that this isn’t the case.  It upsets me when the stories of most FPS’s are overlooked in favor of just focusing on the multiplayer.  Look at the recent Call of Duty installments.  Love CoD or hate it, the story modes are actually fantastic productions, with Hollywood-quality casts and intense plots.  I definitely teared up a little during that one part in Modern Warfare 2.  No spoilers, but if you played, you know. You know. It’s like double-rainbow intense.

Same applies to Halo: Reach (spoilers [?] ahead I guess, even though what I’m going to discuss is clearly stated at the beginning of the game). The latest (and hopefully last since Bungie has ended their involvement) addition to the Halo franchise had a simply amazing story.  You play through knowing full-well that you, along with your teammates, will die in the end.  When you reach the final level, the objective simply states: Survive.  Emotional, right?

Survive!

Now, first time I played through the Reach campaign, it was a co-op effort with my brother and two good friends (shout outs to StepLaugh and Benjamin!). My brother had already beaten the campaign, so upon seeing the final objective I excitedly turned to him (because we’re lame and play splitscreen sometimes) “Max! Does this mean…does this mean we won’t die?! Does Noble Six survive?!”  Even though I know that the game begins with your character’s helmet half-buried in the ground, smashed and peppered with bullet holes, even though I know this, for a second I allow myself to hope that MAYBE it was just a trick, maybe we can survive.  Maybe after spending so much time invested in this story and the role we play as the main character, maybe we can make it.

My brother spares a moment from his grunt killing-spree to nervously scratch the back of his neck, and glances my way, eyes solemn. He blinks, says flatly, “Just take as many of them down with you as you can.”  I understand.  We can’t win.  Of course we can’t.  I try in vain anyway, and actually glitch the game out for a little while as I hide behind some barrels that apparently made my character invisible to the hordes of enemies programmed to insure my death.  My co-op partners and I have a good laugh about this for a while, but amidst the laughter, in the back of my mind I’m marveling at my ability to yet again, become so involved and invested in a game that I would try to change its ending.

Inevitable, despite my best efforts

Well played, Bungie.  Well played, developers everywhere.

As a resident defender of pop culture at my university, I’ve often mentioned in my literature classes that our generation’s “literary canon” is comprised of video games, (web)comics/graphic novels, and blogs.

…And you know, I think I’m okay with this. If games continue to make me cry, make me feel, then I have no qualms about them being the literature of our age.  I mean, it’s either us or Twilight, right? In that case, I think I’m gonna side with Mass Effect, or Uncharted, or Red Dead Redemption, etc. than gay vampires, thanks.

Doubling up

I've started a blog on myIGN in addition to this one.

Here is my first post http://www.ign.com/blogs/mush_rooms

I'm going to copy and paste all of that onto here a little later, but I have a Halo: Reach date right now (lol).

No worries. I'm planning on maintaining both of these blogs with the same posts/content. ^_^

"Stick around...I'm full of bad ideas."

Dead Space 2 was worth the wait, the hype, the marketing...everything.  What's unfortunate here is that I'm biased.  I'm so biased.  I probably shouldn't even be offering an opinion.  But I'm going to, because I'm just so damn excited right now. And before I continue, no worries, there will be NO spoilers. You're safe.

When I worked at a Gamecrazy (R.I.P.), regulars would often come in asking for recommendations to "a good game."  My coworkers would always suggest Dead Space.  Every time.  It was because of their constant plugging of the game that I became obsessed with Dead Space, and for awhile this is how I would interact with customers:

"Hey, I'm getting bored with Halo, what's a good shooter?" 

...Dead Space.  

"Hey, I hated Resident Evil 5 and Gears of War, 3rd person shooters are awful."

...Dead Space.

"Hey we just got a Wii for Christmas, can you recommend some nice family games?"

...Sell Wii, buy PS3, Dead Space.

"Hey, I just want to exchange this uh, Nintendogs for one of these Petz games, 'Petz Crazy Monkeyz'."

...Sure. And guess what, you're also getting Dead Space!

It's no wonder Hollywood Entertainment went out of business, and on the other hand, no wonder that Visceral garnered enough funding to create a sequel to Dead Space.  We single-handedly boosted the sales of that game enough to warrant it.  EA, we're still waiting for our thank-you notes.

But in all seriousness, and even though I know you all must be enjoying my little story, my review of the game will be attached as a video this time. Or else I would have written entirely too much, more than my last post even.  I mean, I already rave about it for twelve minutes in this video so...maybe it's about the same difference.  First six minutes are my actual review, last six are of me answering questions posed by readers from Twitter (@mush_rooms is my username, by the way, give me a follow, I'm on all the time).

I feel bad just leaving you with that though, so I'm including some high-quality (lol) phone screenshots of some of my favorite details of the game, because I couldn't help it as I was playing through. There were just so many funny things I noticed! Seriously, the detail in this game is...*puts on sunglasses*...OUT OF THIS WORLD....

...yeah I'm acting extremely unprofessional tonight. My apologies. Blame Isaac for making me giddy and stupid.

What's up, Steve? (Producer of Dead Space 2)

Like the first, there's still messages scrawled all over the place.

VISCERAL. I LOVE YOU.

In the same room, I moved a skateboard and behind it, in red was writing: Enjoy the pain. Little kids make everything creepier. But anyway, PANDA!

This! Stumbled across this in an abandoned apartment. Pretty standard right? WRONG. The alarm started buzzing as I got close. It sounded...just like my alarm clock...pretty effing awesome. They definitely upped the creepiness factor.

This just made me laugh. What a tool!

"OH MY GOD IS THAT TYLER PERRY?!"

Poster outside of a toy store. E.A.F. stands for "extinct animal friends." BEES ARE EXTINCT?!

Apparently, in the future, schools will still make kids do stupid stuff like this.

This warranted a hearty knee-slap and a "badum-tisssss!" We thought Metamorphosis was a little heavy for an elementary school though.

Wait for it...

YES! I want a .gif of this really badly.

I was basically laughing throughout the entire school chapter.

And here we have a coyote-type creature with a slice of salami on its head...

...and a cameo by Super (Comrade) Meat Boy...

...and the coolest school mascot EVER!

Scariest part of the game. I'm not kidding. I jumped for this, but not when I'm getting butt-raped by twenty necromorphs. There's something very wrong with me.

Join me next time when I...well I don't know what I'm doing yet. Just join me. Questions, comments, death threats, etc. are always welcome.

-Sarah

Greetings, Good Evening, Good Morning, and Hello!

If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of the poor suckers I’ve lassoed into being a member of my test audience.  You probably already know what’s going on here, and what I’m trying to do.  If I’m horribly unentertaining, I apologize, but please bear with me as I attempt to be somewhat interesting/charming/funny/etc.  Thanks for at least suffering through this with me!

That being said, if you don’t know what’s going on, I’m going to assume you’ve undergone one of two misfortunes: either A.) you’re a friend of a friend that I forced to come here or B.) you are utterly random and are wondering why anyone would listen to someone be self-deprecating for this long.

Well fear not Group B, here’s the 411: I’m a nerd, a writer, and a girl (in that order, most of the time).  I’m trying to combine these three traits into something interesting.  This is my attempt.

I’ve decided to largely dedicate this endeavor to three R’s: rants, raves, and reviews.  For my first post, I figured we would start off on a positive note and I’d undertake the ever-popular Game of the Year topic.  So with all the boring stuff out of the way, I’m going to get right to it, because I’m sure this massive wall of text has already caused a few boredom comas.

2010 was a GREAT year for gaming…but then again, don’t they always say that?  They do, but now that we’re in what I’d consider the Post-Modernism era of gaming, it’s impossible to rank these past few years above or below one another.  I could go on in regard to this, and perhaps I will at a later date.  Anyway, I’ve given my Game of the Year Awards to one game per major system. I do not have a very game-worthy laptop, and lack a desktop completely, so you’ll notice there is no PC award (it would be StarCraft2, regardless).  I chose my GOTY’s based largely on one factor—what stuck with me the most.  I’m always excited when things really make an impact, like when you left the movie theater after having seen Inception and your mind was just RACING.  Games that can do that for me, well…they creep into my heart a little bit.

DS: Pokemon SoulSilver (or HeartGold, if you’re one of those fags. Silver all the way!)

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

The DS was my least played system of the year, but as always, I devoted more hours than I should probably admit traveling through Johto and Kanto raising my team of six Bidoofs…just kidding, but I HAVE always wanted to do that. This GOTY was a no-brainer.  Having improved upon virtually everything since the last generation, and modeling after the best generation in the series before it, HeartGold and SoulSilver rocked the competition. The inclusion of the cute little Pokewalker add-on (which I originally thought was just a Tamagotchi that lacked the little Hershey-kiss shaped piles of shit to clean) ended up being a pretty neat addition (until the battery on mine died and along with it, my poor Snorunt).  Fans of the series, including myself, have said that it’s the best Pokemon to date. That being said, Pokemon HG/SS is more than qualified for DS GOTY (I love acronyms).

PSP: Persona 3 Portable

Accurate representation of one of my dream lives

…Atlus, have my children.  With any luck, they’ll be born as some sort of strange, shadowy demon baby riding a flaming phallic chariot through Hell.  I know that kind of sounds super gay, but no. IT WOULD BE AWESOME.  Regardless of the fact that it is basically a port (with a new female protag so everyone can FINALLY get into Akihiko’s pants, and don’t lie, you know how badly you wanted your male protag to be gay for him) Persona and SMT fans shouldn’t be swayed.  Half of the fun of Persona is all the different paths one can take, so on a scale of replayability, Persona is a te—YUKARI’S PANTIES WILL BE MINE NEXT PLAYTHROUGH, SO TSUNDERE, KAWAII, etc.  Mostly, the appeal to me is having a totally addicting, immersive RPG in my pocket at all times. Much like Pokemon!

Wii: Epic Mickey

This is what sold me.

This one is difficult, because I did not spend very much time with my Wii this year (I purposefully set that up for penis jokes btw, you’re welcome).  I was most anticipating No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle, because of my deep love for the first, but was a little let down.  I can’t on good conscience rank it above Epic Mickey, even though both didn’t live up to what I had expected.  I chose Mickey for a bad reason probably, not that it was better than No More Heroes 2, but because it had fewer things wrong with it.  But, on a positive note, Epic Mickey is charming and badass simultaneously.  The visuals and art style are spectacular despite not being HD (eff you, Nintendo…) and the bottom line, it’s just a great idea.  If you can get over the shoddy in-game camera and some silly gameplay mechanics, it’s a perfect Wii game. If you like Wii games. If you don’t then, shit. Scroll down.

Note: No, I did not play Kirby’s Epic Yarn yet. When I do, it will probably beat out Epic Mickey from what I hear. And yes, Super Mario Galaxy 2 can suck it.

PS3: Heavy Rain

Yeah. This happens. From what I've heard, it's just as difficult as it is in real life, fellas!

Now for the big guns. And I know already this won’t be a popular choice, but I’ve gotta hand it to Quantic Dream, if only for stirring things up and creating controversy.  And as I said from the get-go, I’ve chosen games based on if they’ve stuck with me or not.  Heavy Rain has definitely stuck with me in a big way…mostly through the parodies and jokes and memes spawned from it.  I consider other PS3 games I’ve played this year, and I’ve played a few, but…there’s just something about Pressing X to “Jason!” that gets me going.  Heavy Rain is an experience not intended to appeal to everyone.  It took me back to my days of playing Myst and similarly-minded PC adventure games.  It’s simple, elegant, and easily draws you in.  And even though I laughed at it sometimes, I had a really good time.  And isn’t that what this is all about, being entertained?

Note: I give Heavy Rain the award not having played Resonance of Fate, a JRPG that I’ve been dying to try out.  Things I’ve heard about it would probably cause me to hand the award over.

Xbox 360: Mass Effect 2

AHGEIUGHIWulehgnsdkj!

But, I want to take a few seconds to acknowledge Halo: Reach before I delve into an all-out Mass Effect love fest.  I give Bungie kudos for wrapping-up their series in a winning fashion, and am disappointed they got a bit overshadowed by everything else going on this year (I’m looking at you, Black Ops, you bastard).  I feel like the conclusion of Bungie’s involvement with Halo should have had a bit more fanfare, but I’m sure they’re doing well for themselves regardless (I’m picturing the Bungie higher-ups swimming in gold with Scrooge McDuck at the moment and not giving a shit).  Anyway, Mass Effect 2.  I’m at a loss.  Truly.  I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said.  Mass Effect 2 is the perfect example of building off of the weaknesses of a predecessor to produce a sequel that is not only as good, but galaxies better.  Bioware, I tip my N7 helmet to you.  I’m afraid of gushing too much on this, so we’ll just move on along to…

The Ultimate, Hands-down, Who Cares Which System, OMFG My Eyes GOTY:

For this special award, I thought it would be easier for me to express myself through video

Thanks for reading/watching! Next week, I will nerdagsm in regard to all things Dead Space 2 for a few straight hours. And in retrospect, I'm going to work on the video thing more, I know it's rough for now but....